Chad with no chance
by Dangerpro
Summary: Stupid drabbles of the So Random and Mackenzie crew! The world is revolved around your favourite character. CHAD! Follow his misadventures with Sonny and the guys. CRACK COMPLETE AND UTTER CRACK. YOU HAVE BEEN WARNED.
1. Shipping troubles

**SHIPPING TROUBLES**

Chad kissed Nico tenderly from behind the curtains of Mackenzie falls.

"Nico…" Chad said breathlessly, "I would never have thought that…" Nico raised a finger to Chad's lips, hushing him from his rambling. "I know, but we have to keep this secrete. As long as you pretend to be going out with Sonny. They will never know about us." Chad nodded, his eyes full of loyalty. He leaned in for another kiss, but suddenly the curtains snapped open. "I thought I heard something back her- Oh my god." Grady gasped. Nico and Chad jumped back from one another. "I-it's not what it looks like-" Nico insisted, Chad cut him off. "It is exactly what it looks like!" Chad said loudly. Nico's jaw dropped. Chad didn't care about his image anymore, all he cared for was Nico. He couldn't stand hiding from the world no more. It was time to stand.

"We're gay." Chad announced. Nico nearly pooped his pants. In fact, Nico was bisexual. He didn't want to correct Chad in fear of getting handcuffed and locked in his basement again. Chads basement was dark... very dark, a place Nico never want to visit again. He shuddered at the thought of all of the cut outs of Chad that filled up his basement. Grady's eyes locked on Nico, "Please... Tell me this is a joke." Grady had always denied his feelings for the dark skinned boy, but this had finally made his mind up. He loved Nico. Nico shook his head shakily.

Grady's lip trembled as his eyes watered, "I thought… you and me, Nico…" Nico looked away from his best friend, "I'm a Chad Dylan Cooper fan boy. I'm sorry, Grady." he rubbed Chad's chest seductively. Grady always had dreams of Nico always doing that to him. He felt his heart get scruntched up in his chest.

"Sorry won't make the pain go away!" Grady screamed, he ran out of the Mackenzie Falls studio crying. Suddenly, a cheery Zora jumped out from a rack of clothes with her new camcorder. "I got it all on tape!"she announced proudly, while a dirty grin formed on her mouth, "This is SO gonna be my new screen saver."

Chad and Nico looked at each other blankly and then to the strange scruffy little girl. Both knowing she will spend her whole night watching the footage over and over again. What a sad little girl. Tawni strode past, witnessing the replay on the Zora's camera. Her jaw dropped. "Oh my god." her eyes raised up to Nico and Chad, "If Sonny finds out she would be so upset. You better tell her now, before Zora uploads that on You tube!" Chad's and Nico's eyes turned to Zora. Who was sitting in front of a computer with her camcorder wired up to the hard drive, "You have thirteen minutes. Wait! The internet is slow, make that sixteen."

Chad panicked, "I- I don't know! What am I suppose to say? 'I'm sorry, Sonny, but we have to split up. I'm gay with Nico now?'" Everyone froze, their eyes looking over Chad's back. "She's right behind me, isn't she?"

Chad turned to see a heart broken Sonny, he felt guilt sting him to see tears roll down her cheeks. Her pained looked turned murderous, "Chad." She hissed, the sweet Sonny Chad once known vanished. She rummaged in her bag. Chad's eyes widened, imagining Sonny stabbing him apart with a carving knife. She pulled out a rubber ducky. Chad relaxed slightly, laughing nervously, "W- what are you going to do with that?" She slowly grinned, walking slowly closer to Chad.

"NOOO SONNY NOOOO!" Chad screamed.


	2. Chad's child

**A/N: Everyone seems to write a story similar to this plot. **

Chad was sunbathing outside the Mackenzie falls studio. While he turned to reach the suntan lotion, he saw a small figure running towards him. He raised his sunglasses to have a good look at the figure.

Chad's long lost daughter ran up to Chad. "Daaaaddy!" she jumped into Chad's arms. A dumbfounded Chad stared blankly at the blond girl with a face that was almost identical to Sonny's.

"WHAAAA?" he shouted, turning to face an suddenly aged Sonny. The older Sonny had deep wrinkles, she clutched an bottle of alcohol in one hand and a cigarette in the other.

When Sonny opened her mouth, her once sweet voice was rough and harsh. "Hey, love, after that one nightstand. I pooped out this brat." She wheezed and began coughing. Chad turned back to the little girl in his arms, "Oh. My. God."

The little girl tugged on his Mackenzie falls tie, "Daddy, now that you're my Daddy, can I have a pony? And a big house for my pony and a prince with my house and a great big chocolate fountain and- and- and-"

Chad's screaming drowned out the little girl's chattering. He snapped his neck to Sonny, "Since when did we DO it? I only went out with you for a week! I didn't do anything!"

Sonny _shrugged, _"This is a fan fiction. Anything can happen." She inhaled her cigarette_._

_"Sonny, what happened to you? Why _are you old?" he asked blankly, Sonny shrugged again. The little girl yanked on Chad's tie again, suffocating him. "L-let go, kid." he gasped as the little girl let go her grip on his tie. "Look, I don't know what's going on. But I am NOT your Dad." He had a sneaky suspicion Sonny was trying to get money from him, judging by the state she was in.** No. She isn't getting ANYTHING from Chad Dylan Cooper**. he thought. The little girl hopped off his knee, "I'll prove to you I'm your daughter!" she sharply pointed at Chad's nose.

"Fine." he said firmly, "Fine," she answered. "Good." he replied, "Good." She glared.

She ran away from Chad and stopped to turn, "Peace out, suckers." Then she disappeared from sight.

Chad stared at the spot where she repeated his infamous line. "My god. She IS my daughter!"


	3. Chad's Stalker

**A/N: I know a girl who would do this, an insane friend of my sister's. This will probably happen.**

**CHAD'S STALKER.**

Chad had many fans across America and even across the world. And he loved everyone of his fans. That is… until one of them begins to stalk him. Chad was walking alone back to the hotel he stayed at, after he went out for a drink with the Mackenzie falls boys . When suddenly an small blond girl began following him. He first thought they were coincidently going in the same direction, except when he stopped. She stopped. Chad had tried to throw her off by cutting through shopping malls and alley ways. But she seemed to still remain on his back. Eventually he lost his patience, "Hey, you! Quit following me!" he turned to face the girl, but she had vanished. Chad suddenly felt afraid, where did she go? How did she get away so quickly? His fear turned into smugness. "Well, that's the way to do it." He continued walking when he felt a small prick hit his neck. He raised his hand to rub his neck. It was a sleeping dart.

"Oh…no…" he murmured before hitting the floor.

He woke up in a room with walls smothered with pictures of himself. Newspaper clippings, blurred photos, posters and dolls. All with his gleaming smile on. He tried to move, but was taped around a chair. He caught a glimpse of a lap top on a nearby table. If only he could send a message for help. On the desktop was a photo-shopped picture of a naked Chad. He tried to move his chair towards the laptop. Perhaps he could email Sonny. She would save him. "Hello, my darling Chad." Spoke a young voice. Chad felt his heart drop. "I am your BIGGEST fan, I follow you on Twitter and everything. I watched all the films you've starred in and all the Mackenzie Falls-" She stopped noticing that Chad had moved across the room towards her laptop.

"What you doing on my laptop?" the blond girl walked over and snapped it shut, blushing slightly.

"Why did you kidnap me? Untie me now!" He shouted, the girl turned round, her wide eyes was coated with mascara and her hair was messily tied up. "Not until you marry me, Sterling."

"Sterling?" Chad asked blankly, "Who the hell is Sterling?"

She ignored his question skipping towards a tray of fresh Chad faced cookies, she came back to Chad and shoved them in his face. "I made them for you, Knighty-kins." Chad shook his head feebly, the fan girl had probably drugged the cookies or whatever to make him stay.

"Ew. No! I don't want any." he snapped.

The girl giggled, "You have to be nice if you wanna go free." she waved her finger at him, "Now, lets start with sex."

"But you're only, like, twelve!" he said alarmed, the girl pulled a face. "Don't blame me, blame Disney." She let out a sigh, "I really didn't want to do this, honey, but if you're refusing to marry me, I'll have to."The girl danced across the room again to her Chad covered desk and pulled out a stack of videos. High school musical one, two and three.

"Oh no…Oh no…" Chad whimpered, "Not HIM! Please! Please! Not Zac Efron!" The fan girl ignored his pleading and played the video.

Luckily, police had raided the house that Chad was trapped in. He was saved. But Chad would never be the same again…


	4. Chad the musical

**CHAD THE MUSICAL**

After weeks of Therapy, Chad had finally recovered watching high school musical one, two and three. Despite the agony of looking at close ups of Zac Efron's face, he received a brilliant idea.

It was Monday and Chad arranged for a meeting for McKenzie Falls. Marta, Chastity, Ferguson and Skyler (that other girl whose name Chad couldn't remember wasn't invited) stood at the bottom of the stage Chad stood on.

"Evening, everyone." Chad greeted, grinning widely, the cast grumbled in response. Chad was practically bouncing with excitement, "I, Chad Dylan Cooper, have a brilliant idea!" He drew in a big breath for suspense. "What? What is it?" Skyler snapped, Chad let the words out.

"A musical!" He shook his hands to add to the dazzle, the cast stared at Chad in awe. Suddenly Portlyn, (the girl whose name Chad couldn't remember) popped out from the curtain. Luckily Chad had called security. Before she could cry, she was grabbed and dragged away. Chad pretended as if nothing happened, "As I was saying, a musical will make our show even more interesting. It can be an episode special."

Chastity smiled thinly, "I think it's a good idea, Chad, but-" Chad raised a hand to stop her. "No worries, we can get through this. Because- _we're all in this togetheeer- _the only thing I ask is for you to get_'cha- get'cha head in the gaaame." _Chad smiled, unaware of his outbursts of songs, the cast stared horrified. Perhaps Chad had came out of therapy a little too soon. Chad continued, "I know- _we're breaking free- _and I'm sure all of you want to- _stick to the stuff you knooooow- _and- _stick to the status quo- _of our show. But this will be good. And is gonna be- _a start of something neeew- _for us. Now, any questions?"

Ferguson raised a shaky hand, Chad smiled brightly, "Yes?"

"Are you okay, Chad?" he asked anxiously,

Chad frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, you seem a little… musical today." he said nervously, Chad sighed.

"I haven't sang anything, who do you think I am? That stupid Zac Efron?" Chad chuckled to his grim looking cast, his laughter quickly died, "If you guys don't want this musical, then fine! I can do it myself- at least for now_, I gotta go my own waaay." _he folded his arms,

" Anyhow, I want_- fabulous, that is my simple request. All things fabulous, bigger and better and best. I need something inspiring to help me get along,I need a little fabulous is that so wrong?- _I don't need you guys, so-_ at least for noow…I gotta go my own waaaaay." _Chad leaped off the stage gracefully, (when he was a child he was forced to attend ballerina classes) and danced away from the cast and out the door. The cast shared a dumbfounded expression.

"Yep, he's on crack." Marta said simply, the cast nodded in agreement and separated to continue to film for their new show called GLEE.


	5. Sonny's cheeriness

**SONNY'S CHEERINESS**

Chad stalked along the backstage of McKenzie Falls. He once again gotten into another fight with Zac Efron.

Efron won.

"Stupid Efron… stupid, stupid…. I should've got the part as Troy… I would've been better…. I can sing better than that stupid bushy browed Efron…" He grumbled under his breath, Sonny passed by. Her cheeriness seemed to be sky high today. It was turkey sandwich Sunday in the cafeteria. When she saw Chad her smile grew annoyingly larger, "Chad are you okay? I've got you a turkey sand-"

"Not now, Sonny!" Chad snapped, Sonny froze. Chad slapped his hand over his mouth. Oh no. He did it now.

"What did you say, punk?" She growled, Chad felt his body temperature drop. He slowly turned to see Sonny's grim face. "S-Sonny…" Chad stuttered, shaking in fear of what Sonny was about to do.

"I bought you a sandwich. I pass by. I ask if you're fine… and you say NOT NOW?" Sonny's eyes popped out like an angry bull. Chad flinched, "I-I'm s-s-s.-" Chad stuttered, Sonny grabbed him by the collar. "SPIT IT OUT!" She yelled, Chad began to cry. "I'm sorry, Sonny! I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'M SORRY!"

Sonny raised up the sandwich covered in cling film, she raised it to his mouth, "Eat it." she hissed, Chad's lip trembled.

"But it's still wrapped up-" Chad began.

"EAT IT!" Sonny roared, Chad screamed like a girl as Sonny pushed the sandwich against his mouth.

"Ropt rit!" his shout was muffled as Sonny stuffed it in his mouth. Chad had no choice but to chew and swallow.

"There." Sonny smiled, her sweetness returning, "That tasted good, didn't it?" Chad was a wreck on the floor, his skin pale, still shaking. His head snapped towards Sonny and nodded madly. Sonny smiled triumphantly and skipped in the direction of So Random.


	6. Chad's secret

**CHAD'S SECRET**

Chad shuffled into the care-takers room, he exchanged money with the caretaker for a key. They nodded, the caretaker walked out from the room. Chad closed the door silently. He was alone. It had been awhile for Chad to get a chance alone, Sonny had been following his every move. It wasn't easy to get away, but some bribing done the job. He walked in the corner of the room, holding the key firmly in his hand. His heartbeat quickening, he' d been waiting a long time to see his lover's face again. Taken away by fate, forced to hate and to spite one another. They could never be together. He bent down to fit the key into a hole in a tiny the closet door. He turned.

And opened the small door. "Hello, love." Chad purred, looking at the pineapple carved to look like Zac Efron. It worn skin coloured makeup, a wild cat's shirt and a wig to make it look more human.

Chad smiled, "I know, it's been a while, but I'm here now." He reached his hand into his side pocket and pulled out a handkerchief, "I got you a present." He reached it out to the pineapple, expecting it to take the hankie. Nothing happened. Chad smiled lovingly at the inanimate object, "I'll unwrap it, then." he unwrapped the hankie to reveal a tooth. Zac Efron's tooth, that fell out when Chad punched him.

"I'm sorry that I hurt you today." Chad apologized, stroking lovingly the wig. He placed the tooth next to the pinapple, along with other 'presents' such as Zac's tooth brush, comb, sock and (Chad's favourite) Zac's underwear. The underwear was the hardest to retrieve- but he eventually got it. From EBAY.

"What? Yes. Yes." Chad muttered, "I know I'm with Sonny- I-" he paused to listen to the pineapple, " But you're with that Vanessa- It's been three years, Zac!" he flinched, looking at the pineapples cold stare. Chad lowered his head, "I don't think I can keep fighting an losing battle, Zac. I think it's time to quit-" he burst into tears as punched the pineapple.

Due to Chad having the pineapple for a long time, it had turned rotten and all soft. As it hit the care-taker's room floor, Chad heard a loud sploosh sound. "NO! NO! NO! ZAAAAAAAAAAAAAAC!" Chad screamed, holding the remains of pineapple in his hands, dripping with pineapple blood .

It was a sad day for people who loved pineapples.


	7. Chad's abducted!

**CHAD'S ABDUCTED.**

Chad was walking along the beach, it was favourite beach and cleared his mind from the stress of being a celebrity. SUDDENLY there was a beam of light from the night sky. Chad coward into a ball, protecting himself from the bright light. He peeped through his eyelashes to see that he was levitating.

"Oh no!" he squealed, kicking his legs in the air randomly. Below he could see tourists walking home from a day at the beach. " HELP! HELP ME! I'M BEING ABDUCTED BY ALIENS!"

Though, these tourists were Japanese and didn't understand a word Chad was saying, nor what was happening to him. In response they took pictures. Chad let out an angry and terrified scream. He was reaching the ship, the light was taking him through a hole in the rear of the ship.

There was a blinding light, dark shapes moved across his eyes, slowly the aliens came into view.

"Hello." It's voice was familiar to Chad. It was his voice. Chad's eyes finally adjusted. It was him, millions of Chad Dylan Coopers staring curiously at him. "Welcome back home." They all spoke at once, gleaming their dazzling smiles. Chad smiled back, slightly confused. "Hi, handsome people." he raised up from the floor, rubbing his eyes. It had to be a dream. When he opened them again, the unchanged Chads stared happily back.

It didn't take long for Chad to adapt to his new life on the space ship. The aliens informed him that when he was a child, he got lost on Earth, and they were unable to find him. Thanks to McKenzie Falls being broadcast on a nearby Satellite, they were able to find him. Chad was reunited with his real parents, which felt awkward, because they looked identical to him. His parents introduced him to a girl they wanted him to marry, once again was awkward, because she looked like him. She didn't even look like a girl.

"Josanaphia," the female chad shook his hand,

"Chad," he smiled back, she had a strong hold on his hand and was holding it longer than n

ecessary.

"This is excellent!" his mother beamed, "Now you can carry the eggs and become the father we have always dreamt of you to become!"

"WHAT?" Chad shrieked, letting go of the female Chad's hand, "I don't want to be a-"

"Too late!" his father placed a hand on Chad's shoulder, "By holding hands she inserted fertilised eggs into you. Now you carry these eggs up to nine months."

Chad let out a scream and demanded to be taken back to Earth. They reluctantly did so, and left him on the beach they found him on.

Chad was the very first man to give birth.


	8. Chad's incident

**CHAD'S INCIDENT.**

Chad laid numbly in the hospital ward. His head throbbed painfully, he didn't have the slightest clue how he ended up in the ward. Sonny pushed past a crowd of wounded people towards Chad. "Chad! Chad!" She cried, she let her self regain her breath. "Thank goodness you're awake." Chad frowned, "Sonny, what happened?" he asked blankly. "It was a car crash." Sonny burst into tears, Chad patted her on the back.

"Uh… Sonny, it's okay…" he smiled nervously towards the other hospital visitors walking by. Sonny sniffled up her snot. Which Chad thought was rather gross and rather not have seen. "B-but Ch-Chad. It's not okay!" Chad's smile dropt, "What?"

Sonny's face turned pale, "No one told you?" She looked around at the people on the ward, who were all staring at Chad wide eyed. He simply thought it was because he was a celebrity. He turned back to Sonny, "What? What is it?"

"You have a day to live." She began sobbing into her hands again, Chad stared at the sobbing Sonny.

"Oh my god. Why? Why now? I'm too young to die!" He began sobbing along with Sonny. He remembered who he was. He was Chad Dylan Cooper. And he does NOT cry. He wanted to die with dignity. He tried to muster up his courage and spoke, "Well, if I only have a day. Then I'll have to do everything I ever wanted to do today."

She raised her head, "Oh… urm… my bad… you've been sleeping, so it's…" she checked her watch, "Five hours to live." Chad forgot his dignity and cried harder into his hands. "What's killing me, Sonny? What is it?"

"Can't you feel it?" Sonny asked blankly, Chad frowned, Sonny raised her makeup mirror.

Chad had a pole directly through his head. "Oh, hell no." he touched the pole, coated with blood. It stung painfully by the smallest touch. That explained the head ache.

"It was a truck delivering dancing poles that crashed into your limo, Chad… I'm so sorry." Sonny burst into tears again, Chad was about to faint, "I'm gonna die… I'm gonna die…" Nico and Grady walked in happily, "Hey, Chaaad, we're here to cheer you up!" they said cheerily, Chad groaned in agony.

"No. Go away." He insisted, Grady smiled. "We can't, Sonny paid us. And we're far better than that clown who charges DOUBLE the price." Nico smiled, "Look at the Brightside, Chad, that pole does look better on you." Grady nodded, "Yeah, you want us to hire some pole dancers for you?" They both began sniggering, Chad stared at them both hatefully. "I'm about to die, and you're making JOKES about me?"

"Chad." Tawni walked in with Zora, "I want to know something… I ordered that pole which is through your head. So can you die a little bit quicker?"

"WHAT?" Chad roared, Tawni squeaked.

"You see, I wanted to open up a night club, and… well, I need that pole." Tawni was pushed away by Zora. "You could have a lil' more sympathy for Chad!" Zora folded her arms, Chad relaxed on his bed.

"At least some one cares…" he smiled thinly.

"Yes." Zora continued, "He would rather have that pole installed in our prop house. We need a pole to go down the first floor and into the prop house. It would be really convenient for us."

Sonny shot up from sobbing, "You're all insensitive! Chad is DYING! OH CHAAAD!" She pulled him into a hug. Sonny caught him off guard. As he turned his head he accidentally shoved the pole into Sonny's forehead.

Blood began drip out from her head. "Oh no, no, no!" she shrieked, waving her hands about .

"S-stay still!" Chad yelled, Nico and Grady ran over to pull Sonny's head out from the pole.

"Where's the doctor?" Nico yelled, Chad buzzed a button by his bedside, sadly it was to operate the bed. It crushed his body slowly, he tossed his head to the left, realising mili-seconds later that Sonny was at the end of the pole. She flew along with the pole, knocking out Nico and Grady and a few clueless nurses.

Suddenly the pole stabbed Zora through the eye. She screamed in agonizing pain. The blood that spurt out of Zora dripped onto the floor, which Tawni slipped on while calling for help. The pole stab through her chest, "My new shirt!" she cried and went limp. The ward which Chad laid peacefully five minutes before was now full of screaming people. The paparazzi seemed to have leaked in and were taking pictures. Chad, Sonny, Tawni and Zora looked like a human kabob. The good news, they beaten the Guinness world record for the world's biggest kabob. The bad news, they died. Oh dear.


	9. Chad gets fat

**CHAD GETS FAT**

Chad stuffed his face with fresh ice covered doughnuts, followed after by a hand full of Nachos accompanied with a bottle of Soda. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand focussing his attention to the rest of the junk food on the long table before him. "I love my job." he smiled as he clicked his fingers for his assistant to wheel him towards the table. Even though it was five steps away. He reached out for the packet of potato chips at the far end, unable to reach he clicked his fingers again for help. Once again help was provided. "Chad!" A voice made him jump, he turned his head to see his girlfriend Sonny Monroe.

"Humth Sommyth." He replied, before swallowing. Sonny frowned, "You told me you were gonna cut down the fast food." Chad shrugged, "No need to, it's not like I'm getting fat."

Sonny sighed, "You are, you just haven't noticed. When was the last time you moved out from that wheel chair. And why ARE you in a wheel chair, Chad?" She asked blankly. Chad smiled, revealing his double chin, "I was getting tired, and I saw this lying around empty." Sonny gasped, "My nan was visiting me today, and she lost her chair. She collapsed and - CHAD!"

Chad flinched, "What? I didn't mean to, I'm more important." Sonny stormed off leaving the fat Chad to continue eating. He let out a sigh, noticing how chubby his fingers are. Grady, who got lost somehow walked past, "Hey Chad."

"Get lost, fatty." Chad replied sourly, Grady frowned.

"I AM lost." he studied Chads rapidly fattening body, "Woah, you're big."

Chad twitched, "Excuse me?"

"Well," Grady sighed, "I went to fat camp when I was your size-"

"When? I'm SKINNIER than you? How dare you call me fat!" he hissed, Grady pointed to the mirror, Chad awkwardly got out of his wheel chair and wobbled to the mirror. He was fat. Larger than a bear that swallowed a swarm of cats. That sentence didn't make sense, but it doesn't matter.

Chad began to cry, then immediately stopped. He was Chad Dylan Cooper. He was an celebrity. He was rich. He could get liposuction.

A week later, Chad booked a place at the local surgery clinic. He waited impatiently for his appointment. Finally the doctors walked in, "Are you ready, Mr Cooper?"

"Ready as I'll ever be." Chad said cheerily, the doctors smiled falsely.

Chad taken sleeping gas and fell asleep instantly. DUH. He dreamt he was on a stallion, and was racing towards the end of the rainbow. Before he could make it, Zac Efron rode on a dragon and beat him to the rainbow. That made Chad maaaaad.

When he woke up he was peeved off. Then realised he felt physically lighter than before he slept, the lyposuction was over. But there still seemed to have fat on his chest. His eyes adjusted to see a fresh batch of breasts dangling from his chest. The doctors seemed pleased with themselves, having to have succeeded in another boob surgery. They looked through the papers halting at the third page, "Oh dear, you're not Paris Hilton…" Their arrogance evaporated, staring horrified at Chad.

On the other hand, Chad had never been happier.


	10. Camp

**CAMP**

Chad slowly opened his eye lids, the morning rays of sun beamed through the cracks between the curtains. He rolled over in his bed, reluctant to get up. Suddenly a booming voice shattered the sweet morning silence.

"UP PRIVATE! UP,UP,UP!" The yelling shattered Chad's eardrums, he sat up abruptly, hitting his head on a metal frame. He was sleeping at the bottom half of a bunk bed. "YOU LAZY PRETTY BOY, UP, UP, UP!"

Chad rubbed his head, obeying the voice, he got out of the bed and onto the floor. A large bald man frowned fiercely at the sleepy Chad.

"GET DRESSED, SOLDIER! EVERYONE IS ALREADY FINISHED BREAKFAST AND IS RUNNING NOW!" He yelled, Chad flinched by his loud voice, grabbing his pair of army pants and black polo top.

He slumped into his chair, carrying a tray of cold grey porridge. He poked it with a spoon. A few maggots wriggled out, Chad shrugged , scooped it up and ate it. The bald man marched towards him, his ugly red face fixed into a deep frown, "GO IN THE COURTYARD AND START RUNNING, BOY!"

"Can I just settle my stomach first?" Chad asked timidly, he ate another scoop of porridge, which was rather delicious. The man snatched the spoon away from Chad, hitting him on the head. Which was, admittingly to Chad, very painful.

"NO. HUT, HUT, HUT!" He chased Chad out of the dinner hall. Chad screamed, as he was Chased by a man holding a spoon. He began crying, he hated Sonny for suggesting to his parents about the military camp her cousin went to. His parents thought he needed an attitude adjustment so they sent him packing in a heartbeat.

It had been a full two hours of running, and his legs felt like they about to drop off. He collapsed on his knees, wheezing for air. The bald man was upon him in an instant. "GET UP YOU LAZY MAGGOT!"

Chad felt tears fall, "I'm not an Maggot!"

"YOU ARE A MAGGOT. A GREAT BIG FAT MAGGOT!" He roared in response, Chad sniffled up snot.

"I'm not fat," he said darkly, he rose up to face the man. He raised his eyebrows.

"I DON'T LIKE YOUR TONE, BOY! DO YOU WANT ME TO CALL YOUR SUPERIOR?" He bellowed, Chad's eyes widened in fear.

"No, no, I- please don't call my superior ." Chad said weakly. Except it was too late, the superior was marching over the field towards Chad. Chad whimpered in fear by the sight of it.

"CHAD DYLAN COOPER." the superior roared. Chad hidden behind the bald man.

"H-hello, m-miss-" Chad stuttered, his teeth chattering. The superior raised a finger, "YOU BETTER BE QUIET, PUNK." Chad wrapped his arms around the bald man, using him as some sort of shield.

"Please, Sonny, please, I- I'LL BE GOOD!" He wailed, Sonny strode towards him, pinching him by the ear. "I don't want you to be good, Chad. I want you to OBEY YOUR COMMANDER!" She shouted down Chad's earlobes, Chad whimpered.

"Yes Sonny, I'll obey. I'll obey." he said rapidly, Sonny smiled smugly.

"Good, NOW EAT THE DIRT, MAGGOT." She roared, Chad stared at her horrified.

"Eat the dirt? But… It's so… dirty."

"I SAID EAT IT!" She shrieked. Chad fell to his knees, and began digging hand fulls of soil and stuffing it in his mouth, sobbing while doing so.


	11. Library!

**LIBRARY**

Chad hated books, hated it almost as much as he hated sprouts and Zac Efron. Sonny insisted he should read more instead of playing on his laptop. Chad disagreed. Except Sonny INSISTED. After getting beaten up silly, Chad finally agreed with her.

Chad picked up a book in the children's section, 'High school musical junior novel' it came with pictures from the film with- guess who- Zac Efron! Chad threw the novel over his shoulder, hitting a passing child on the head. The child let out a whiney cry. "Shush!" Chad frowned, "This is a library."

The child shut her mouth and mumbled a few curses under her breath. A book caught Chad's eye, right next to a Scooby doo where are you joke book. A pop up book. He went over and reached out for the book.

Except a hand got there first. And that hand belonged to him. Zac Efron.

"Hey!" Chad frowned, "That's mine, I saw that book first!"

Zac scanned the front and the back of the pop up book, "I don't see your name on it."

"I was just about to reached out for it, and you snatched it off me!" Chad hissed, Zac blinked blankly.

"I know you…" he said slowly, "You're that guy who drugged my coffee, and the guy who started a fight with me, and you're that guy who was saying horrible things at me when I went to play golf and tennis!"

Chad frowned, "Uh… no I'm not." he looked away from his eyes, Zac's eyes narrowed suspiciously. Chad taken this moment to snatch the book out of his hands.

"MINE!" He shouted, Zac let out a startled gasp. Chad raced to the librarian's desk for her to scan.

Zac tackled him to the ground, taking back the pop up book. "Ha ha!"

Chad bit Zac's ankle, which tasted like salt. Must have been to a beach, Chad thought. Zac cried in pain and dropped the book. Chad continued his race to the Librarian. He was close to winning until, Chad tripped over a small foot. His sight swirled around and fell painfully to the floor.

The girl who he accidentally thrown a book at grinned above him. "You!" he growled, "Why did you-"

"Shush. This is a library." she smiled. She picked up the pop- up book and skipped to the librarian's desk.

It was scanned and before Chad could raised back to his feet, she was gone. Zac was still on the floor, rubbing his ankle.

Chad sighed an walked towards him, "Look, I'm sorry for biting your ankle." Zac raised an eyebrow. Chad rolled his eyes, "And I'm sorry for drugging you, starting fights with you, insulting you, plotting to kill you, abusing you, breaking in your house, stealing your underwear, watching you while you sleep, I'm sorry for prank calls, the-"

Zac interrupted, "What did you just say?"

Chad bit his lip, "The prank calls?"

Zac frowned, "No, before that."

Chad squinted, thinking back, "Breaking in your house?"

Zac's frown deepened, "No, you said you steal my underwear and watch me while I sleep."

"Nah, I don't remember saying that…" Chad pressed his lips, "I think you're imagining things, Efron."

With those last words, Chad turned his heal and left the Library. Zac, however moved house a week later, to Texas.


	12. Airplane!

**AIRPLANE!**

Chad leaned back on his seat, the past week for him had been a nightmare for him. Sonny had been demanding for him to spend more time with her, the director of McKenzie Falls expected him to learn a whole script in just two days and the Grady and Nico sabotaged his chocolate fountain- enough said. Finally, he was going on a short vacation to Hawaii, there he won't have to stress about his girlfriend, his director and annoying nerds.

He let out an exhausted sigh, closing his eyes, at some point he must have fell asleep, because he woke up hearing screams.

The Airplane was crashing.

Chad looked around wildly, he hadn't listened to the air hostess about what to do when an airplane crashes. He held onto his seat tightly, feeling his guts push against his ribs.

He prayed that his funeral would be an expensive one, and closed his eyes.

There was an explosive sound outside the airplane, the propellers stopped and the airplane dived downwards.

When Cad woke up, he thought he was dead. Returned as a ghost. Then he realised he was bleeding and felt his whole body sting in pain. He was alive! Except he was the only survivor of the airplane crash. For the next ten years of Chad's life, he lived on the island. Making fire, drinking coconut milk, making friends with a football and eating the remains of the passengers. One day he built a raft, with help from his football friend which he called Sonny. He rode the raft through the waves and the storms of the sea. Sadly losing Sonny on his travels, "SOOOOOOOOONY!" Chad yelled out the football's name as she drifted out of sight. Chad sobbed uncontrollably, until a boat full of Japanese fishermen found him. The Japanese mistaken him for a walrus and accidentally shot him in the leg. When Chad finally returned to Hollywood, after ten years waiting to return to Sonny. Turned out she was married to Grady. And had two children.

Chad stared at her, his mouth hanging open, "I was gone for ten years, I've been waiting for this moment for so long, and you tell me you're married?" Chad stood heartbroken on Sonny's doorstep, soaking wet from the rain.

Sonny's eyes stared pityingly at Chad, "I'm sorry, I had to get over you. I had to move on."

"But Grady?" Chad shouted, "You could have had anyone! ANYONE to replace me!"

Sonny frowned, "Grady was there for me, unlike you."

"I was in a plane crash, dammit!" Chad yelled, Sonny raised a finger to her lips.

"Shush, the kids are sleeping."

Chad shook his head miserably, "What am I going to do now? I've came all this way, fought my way back for nothing."

"You can go on a endless road trip of despair." Sonny suggested, Chad nodded.

And so, Chad went on a endless road trip of despair.


	13. Chad's Biography

CHAD'S BIOGRAPHY.

Chad had noticed recently, there were a lot of Biography's out. So he thought he would release his own. Chad had finished speaking to the editor and was confirmed it would be on the shelves by the week after. Chad was ecstatic.

"Oh yeah!" Chad beamed, "This is fantastic! For once, the disastrous events of my life has a benefit on me, with my new book, I'll sell millions!" Sonny skipped past, "Hey, bunny-kins, how's your biography goin'?" she asked, Chad hugged her.

"It's going great, Sonny, really, really, great!" he gleamed his white teeth.

Sonny beamed back, "That's fantastic!"

"I know!" he giggled happily, "I'm so happy, I feel as if I've achieved something. And for once nothing is going wrong in this fan fiction!"

At that moment in time, an satellite fell out from the sky and hit the factory that produced Chad's copies of his biographies. It went up in flames.

When Chad found out, he was ruined. The company demanded money from him for the inconvenience. So Chad became broke, and was reduced to become a tramp on the street.


	14. Chad's Birthday

**CHADS BIRTHDAY**

Today was Chad's Birthday, Chad had been gloating to his co-workers and the So-Random crew about his Birthday for the past two months. So obviously no one could forget.

"Hey everyone!" Chad greeted the Mackenzie falls actors. They looked at him, then returned reading their scripts. Chad's confidence was unscratched, "Do you know what day it is?"

"Tuesday?" Marta frowned, looking through a magazine.

"And? What is so important about today?" Chad sad slowly, holding back his excited giggles.

"The release of Justin Beiber's new album?"

"The resurrection of Jesus?"

"New series of Supernatural?"

"Gay rights day?"

"Two month anniversary of your and Sonny's break up?"

Chad felt his happiness deflate.

"You don't remember a particular person's Birthday today, someone you all owe your lives to?" Chad said slowly.

They all gasped, "No… is it today?" They scrambled from their lazy positions and ran to check the calendar.

"Yes." Chad sighed in relief, "I've been reminding you for the last two months."

"It's Zac Efron's Birthday!" they cried joyously.

Chad chuckled nervously, "No… no, it's mine…" However, the Mackenzie cast had already ran out the room. Chad felt his eyes sting , "No one remembers my Birthday…" he sniffed, as he made his way to the mirror to look at his reflection. A thought occurred to him.

"Oh." Chad smiled, "They're pretending to have forgotten my Birthday, then they're going to throw a surprise party!" Chad giggled and danced on the spot. Like one of those wound- up clapping monkey toys...

Chad spent the rest of the day, giggling at the fact that everyone 'forgotten' his Birthday. He finally entered the Cafeteria for lunch, to see the lights off. He chuckled. Practicing his shocked expression.

He walked in and everyone jumped out, yelling, "Surprise!"

"What?" Chad cried out dramatically, "For me?"

Everyone stared at him blankly. There was a long silence.

Grady finally spoke, "Chad! We thought you were Zac!" Everyone grumbled, and returned to their hiding positions.

"There's no need to keep on pretending," Chad shook his head, smiling, "I'm here now. So where's my cake? I hope it has my face on again."

"Chad, hide, you'll ruin everything!" Tawni hissed.

Chad could hear Sonny's happy chatter, come from behind along with a low smooth voice.

Chad remained where he was, he felt his eyes begin to sting.

"Chad what are you-" Sonny said, her arm was laced around Zac Efron's tanned muscles.

"SURPRISE!" Everyone yelled, the lights were switched on and pictures of Zac printed the walls.

"Wow!" Zac smiled, "How did you guys known it was my Birthday?"

Chad felt his heart turn to ice as Sonny kissed his enemy.

"Chad told us." Skyler pointed to Chad, who was close to crying.

"Chad!" Efron patted him on the back, "You're a good man."

Chad shuffled over to his cast members, "It's my Birthday too." He said in a small voice.

"Oh yeah, we know." Skyler said lightly.

"What?" Chad frowned, "Why didn't you say 'Happy Birthay' to me?"

"Oh, we couldn't be bothered and we don't like you." The group wondered off to do the limbo with Zac.

"Sonny?" Chad dragged himself towards her, "Did you know it's my Birthday?"

"Yeah, of course I did." she smiled. Chad felt a drip of happiness.

"But considering Zac is my new boyfriend, he's far more important. Plus I hate you now."

Chad looked away from her, as a tear ran down his face. Then he saw his parents across the cafeteria eating cake. "Mum? Dad? How could you?" he ran up to them.

The blondes looked at him, "Hey."

"It's my Birthday!" He sobbed.

They shrugged. And backed away, muttering "Who was that kid… don't look at him… maybe he'll go away."

So Chad spent his Birthday in his dark dressing room, sobbing while holding a cupcake with a lit candle on. Singing 'Happy Birthday' to himself.


	15. The prank

**The prank**

So random held an annual barbeque every summer, they welcomed all cast members and staff to eat free food. And every year so far Chad holds an annual prank during this Barbeque. Last year Chad replaced the white bread with brown bread.

"Oh yesss." Chad chuckled as he replaced the ketchup bottle with mustard and the mustard bottle with mayonnaise. The prank was there was no ketchup. He took a few steps back admiring his work; he then went to hide in the bushes. Not long after the So Random gang began cooking the meat on the barbeque. Sonny laid out the forks, spoons and knives, while Grady began unwrapping the meat and placing it on the stove. The staff began hanging around, waiting for the first batch of cooked meat to be served, Chad sat in anticipation for someone to use the sauce bottles. After ten minutes, Grady served the first batch of meat. Everyone scrambled to grab a plate, after seconds the plate Grady served was empty. Nico managed to grab a plate first, he was also first to use the ketchup. He pointed his sauce bottle in between his hotdog buns not seeing the contents inside the bottle enter his food. Chad held his breath, his grin tightening across his face. Nico took a bite, then another. Chad was about to jump out the bushes when suddenly Nico began choking. His choking and spluttering grew, unable to catch his breath, Nico collapsed. The crowd of people also began choking and spluttering, also falling to the ground. Chad watched horrified as every single person who added ketchup (secretly mustard) dropped dead before him. Everyone added the ketchup to their food, except Grady who missed a chance to eat. He looked down at the piles of dead bodies, and then threw up on the barbeque. How did this happen? Chad looked down on the empty mustard bottle, was they all severely allergic to mustard? Chad looked closer to the bottle. The used by date was 1912. Chad dropped the bottle his jaw dropping further and further down, he popped his head out of the bushes again.

Grady was now sobbing, hugging the lifeless body of his best friend, Nico.

Chad shook his head, technically Grady killed them, he gave them the food and it was his idea for them to have a barbeque every year. If there was no barbeque, Chad wouldn't have pulled this prank in the first place. Suddenly relaxed he emerged from the bushes, "Grady…" he whispered, Grady's head shot up, his pink face was streaked with tears and snot. "What have you done, Grady?"

Grady whimpered, "I was just cooking hotdogs... Oh god… They were undercooked… I killed them all!"

Chad kneeled down, placing a hand on Grady's shoulder, "Yes. It is your fault."

"I'm gonna be locked away. Oh Chad, I can't go to jail!" Grady sobbed harder, Chad squeezed his shoulder.

"You can always runaway." He said gently, "Runaway and never return."

"I can't." Grady muttered, "I'm famous, people would recognize me."

"You're not that famous." Snapped Chad, Grady winced, pulling himself away.

"There's only one other way. Wipe away the evidence." Grady said darkly, pushing himself up, "And you're gonna help me."

Chad nodded stiffly, standing up next to him.

It took an hour for people to realise the two boys dragging bodies around the studios and they were both arrested. Chad was let go on bail, claiming he was forced to participate while Grady was sentenced for life in prison.


End file.
